I recently officiated a wedding in Mexico for two of my dear friends. In the months preceding the wedding, I spent a fair amount of time shopping online and in stores for the perfect outfit. The bride had shared the wedding colors and told me I could wear whatever I wanted. I initially debated a dress in the color the bridesmaids were wearing, but later decided that wasn't necessary. Then I started leaning towards wearing light grey which would match the groom's side. I eventually purchased a beautiful full length light grey chiffon skirt and began searching for a top.
The search for a white top was unexpectedly challenging. I didn't realize they don't sell white shirts in winter. After hours of driving all over town, I went to the mall for the first time in years. I remember standing in Nordstrom's staring at the racks full of dresses and thinking clearly I had missed something. I kept hearing myself say, "it shouldn't be this hard." Then I realized that maybe I wasn't supposed to wear the skirt. Maybe I was supposed to wear a whole different outfit! Feeling defeated from hours of searching, I did the only thing I could think of, I turned to the Universe.
"Source, I surrender my search for the perfect outfit to you. Please guide me to the perfect place to find the outfit that has been already selected for me. Show me what I am meant to wear and at this point, please make it extra obvious." After the words spilled out of my heart, I felt a desire to go home. I wasn't sure when the outfit was going to come. With only 4 days left before the trip, I had to trust the answer was coming.
Two days before the trip, I decided to go to an area that has a number of boutiques and stores near my house. I wish I could tell you that magically I found the perfect thing to wear at the first store I walked into, but that's not what happened. I went store to store, talking with sales people and boutique owners. Each conversation felt like a breadcrumb leading me to the next place that would most certainly lead to the perfect white top. Yes! My sweet little human mind was still stuck on finding the perfect top to go with that skirt.
As you would imagine, I didn't find what I was looking for. However, I did remember my prayer from two days earlier. So after walking into the last store, I repeated my prayer one more time.
"Please guide me to the perfect outfit. Change me into one who can see with fresh eyes, that which I should wear for this special event."
Finally it happened. Standing in the middle of a store, surrounded by clothes that were very much not my style, I realized why the search was so impossible. I was searching for something to make me look like I fit in. I was trying to mold myself into an image in my mind rather than be myself. I quickly grabbed my phone and began searching for images of beach wedding officiant attire. My revelation was confirmed. Most images showed officiants in black, navy or sometimes even white.
Suddenly it all made sense, the Universe had been guiding me all along. I wasn't supposed to have the perfect white shirt, because I wasn't supposed to wear an outfit that was not my style. Standing in front of my own closet at home, I found the perfect outfit. A black jumpsuit that is one of my all time favorites. It's totally me and was perfect for the wedding.
We live in a supportive Universe and sometimes the support we receive doesn't make sense until later. We experience Divine detours that are meant to bring us back to who we are and connect us with our own truth. Next time you feel the rise of frustration because something isn't working or feels too hard. I invite you to consider that maybe what you are seeking is not the right solution for you. Maybe there's another option that is patiently waiting for you in your own closet.
P.S. I had an ah-ha after writing this story. After I turned to Source in Nordstrom's, I felt a desire to go home. I had no clue at that point that I would end up wearing something from my own closet, but now I have a new awareness for that kind of guidance.