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  • Tiffany Marlink

How to overcome self sabotage

Have you ever thought, “that would be awesome!” and then listened to your mind rattle off all the reasons why it’s a terrible idea?

Self-sabotage sucks! It’s completely made up in our sweet little heads, and yet it’s big and bold enough to keep us from living our dreams.

Did you catch that? The part about it being completely made up?

When a dream floats into your awareness, I want you to know that it’s happening for a reason. There is no dream that has come to you that is too big or too unrealistic for you to make it your reality. This is especially true if it’s something you are deeply passionate about.

The big dreams often feel scary. And yet, it’s often the scariest ones that are accompanied by a deep knowing that it’s going to be worth it. Think about all of the people that choose to walk through haunted houses at Halloween. They are scary but in some weird twist people find them enjoyable enough to keep going. This led me to the conclusion that scary is the feeling that is uncomfortably worth it.

That’s the kind of feeling I want you to lean into when it comes to your dreams. The “OMG someone could jump out at me at any moment” feeling. Because the reality is that someone or something is going to jump out at you. And it’s going to be scary AF for a little bit. Your heart is going to jump out of your chest and you’re going to think to yourself, “why in the world did I do this to myself!” Then you’re going to put on your big kid pants (maybe even a fresh pair) and keep going. The twisted part comes in when you hit that golden exit, high five your bestie and say “WOW! That was scary awesome!”

Maybe haunted houses are not your thing. They’re not for me, but I have found a deep appreciation for leaning into the scary in my business and my personal life. One tool that continues to be super useful is connecting with that deep inner knowing. The part of you that will appreciate the challenges and fears that arise because they make the achievement even more worth it.

I want you to think of an idea that scares you. Something that keeps coming up and you keep talking yourself out of it. Now ask yourself the following two questions.

What would be possible if you were to go for it?

What would happen if you didn’t do it?

I recently asked those two questions to my Inspired Action Mastermind group. The one thing that really stood out was the collective agreement that not doing our work in this world was not really an option.

That’s the kind of drive I want you to feel. The part of you that says not leaning into the scary would be more uncomfortable than going for it. I know you have a gift. You are meant to do something amazing in this lifetime. You don’t need to know exactly what that one thing is at this point if that is what is stressing you out. Be curious and allow yourself to be pulled in the direction of your desires even when it feels scary.

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