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  • Tiffany Marlink

The other side of fear

This week I’m in LONDON!! I've been enjoying the sights and have spent lots of time in the parks. I also had the most amazing day long intensive with my coach. We took a deep dive into some of my own limiting beliefs and created a clear roadmap for what I want to create and experience before the end of this year. Stay tuned! There are going to be some exciting new things coming your way over the next few months.

During our time together, my coach showed me this video. It’s a short one, so I recommend you take a couple minutes to watch too. I love what Will Smith says towards the end, “the best things in life are on the other side of fear.” Think about that for a second.

What is something that you are avoiding right now because it’s on the other side of fear?

Where are you holding back or not speaking up for yourself because you’re afraid?

What is possible for you on the other side of that fear?

I know it’s easy to be struck by fear and default into fight or flight mode. I also know that bravery can knock fear of its pedestal in just seconds. Think back to the last time you realized you had to have a difficult conversation with someone. Maybe it was with a co-worker, a friend or even a loved one. You knew something had to be said, yet you kept delaying the conversation fearing the worst. The longer you delayed, the more you thoughts spiraled out of control. Before you knew it, you were not only imagining all of the possible worst case scenarios, you were playing out each subsequent worst case scenario that could happen after that too! That’s how fear works. The more you feed it, the more it grows.

Now I want you to focus on the moment the conversation actually happened. What happened immediately after you said what you needed to say? My guess is that you experienced a relief. Perhaps it didn’t go as far as being blissful, but there was a moment where you no longer had to think about all the possible what ifs. At that moment, you were no longer carrying the weight of the fear of what might happen.

I don’t think it’s possible to live without fear. To be honest, I don’t think I would want to. I think fear can be a great indicator that helps us to bring awareness to the emotional charge of a situation.

Here’s a little exercise you can try the next time you are facing fear.

I want you to imagine your fear as an object.

Something that you can hold in your hands.

Now place it in a box and set it to the side.

How do you feel now that the fear has its own space?

Do you need a little more space from the fear?

Toss the box into the trash or out the window if that would help.

Tell the fear that you appreciate the warning, and right now, you’ve got this! Then I want you to imagine the bliss (or relief) that you will experience once you have taken that leap. Feel into that moment with everyone inch of your body. Imagine it going exactly the way you would like it to go. And then go do whatever it is that needs to be done.

We are all human. There are things that are going to go well and things that are going to go not so well. Living in fear is NOT living. Sometimes all you need is 2.5 seconds of bravery to experience bliss. If there is something you are avoiding right now, let this be your sign that it’s time to take the leap. You will be ok. Stop feeding the fear and start living your life. Everything is going to be ok.

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