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  • Tiffany Marlink

What to do when the struggle is real

What do you truly desire? What would give you that “life is so damn good” feeling?

When I was working as an accountant, I really struggled with those kinds of questions. At the time, all I really desired was a break from the chaos. I wanted to drop my to do list like a bad habit. I even dreamed of getting into an accident not because I wanted my life to end, but because I wanted a valid excuse to not go to work for a few days. I just wanted some time to myself to do nothing.

Have you ever been in that position? Wishing you could just escape from it all? Even if it was just for a few days so you could get back to neutral?

I know it’s hard to imagine a different life when your chest deep in the muck and weeds. But you walked into that bog, and you are fully capable of walking out of it. The struggle is real, but it will only survive if you continue to feed it.

We both know that you are strong, but you don’t have to be this strong all of the time. You deserve a break. Maybe you’ll get lucky and someone will give you that gift. But you don’t need to wait for that to happen to make it your reality. You are fully capable of taking control of your situation. You can decide right now that it’s time to make a change.

I know what you’re thinking. That’s nice. I know that’s what I should do but I don’t know if I can. In fact, here’s the laundry list of reasons why it’s going to be too hard. The boss that isn’t going to let you set working hours. The partner who isn’t going to understand your need for me time.

Instead of thinking about how to manage the repercussions, challenges and constraints. I want you to consider what might be possible if you stopped tolerating a mediocre life? What would be possible if you allowed yourself to experience your deepest desires instead of always taking care of everyone and everything else? What would life be like if you were allowed to take care of you first?

Everyone, including yourself, is used to the person you are today. But if that version of you doesn’t make you happy, you are under no obligation to keep showing up that way. Start implementing small changes in the direction of your desires. Decide you are no longer going to check email after a certain time each night. Choose to take yourself out for coffee or lunch date once a week. Find a meetup group that is focused on a feel good activity that you enjoy.

You are the only person who can change your situation. You are also the person most qualified to do it. It’s time to take action. To choose differently. To stop tolerating the mediocrity.

If you don’t know what you desire, get curious. You probably know what you don’t want. That’s a great place to start. Identify what you don’t want but choose to seek what you want instead. Focus on the positive replacement. As I’m sure you’ve heard before, what you focus on expands.

If you don’t want to be so busy, don’t focus on the busy. Focus on having the time and space you need to enjoy the things you desire. Imagine that you have plenty of time to complete your responsibilities and that you always find the creative solutions or assistance you need. You can even turn some of these things into mantras or affirmations.

Once you’ve identified your desires, I want you to start living them. Go do the things that fill you with joy and inspiration. If it’s going to take a little time to take physical action towards your desires, start by visualizing yourself doing the things desire. Journal about them as if they are already happening and notice the new opportunities that begin to arise. Decide that you are going to create space for those new activities in your daily life.

You will encounter some resistance, that’s part of the process. I also want you to know that it will be temporary. Keep focusing on your desires and what makes you feel good. It will get easier and it will be worth it.

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