Who is really making it about them?
“Can you believe those two? They are making the concert all about them!”
My boyfriend recently surprised me with tickets to an outdoor concert. We had been sitting in the sea of low sitting chairs and blankets for most of the show. As the music became a little more upbeat, a couple about 3 blankets ahead of us stood and started dancing.
I thought it was cute. They looked like they were having lots of fun and to a small extent even more so than the guys on stage. Unfortunately, the people around me had a different opinion and I could hear them start to grumble.
Ugh, I can’t see!
I wish they would just sit down!
Why can’t they go to the other side where everyone else is standing?
They are blocking my view!
The list of complaints created a tension that crept over anyone within earshot. The crowd’s angst grew with each song. I felt like I was sitting amongst a pride of hungry lions about to pounce on their unknowing prey.
I remained calm and determined not to be sucked into the tension that was happening around me. My boyfriend stepped away for a moment, and somehow the woman behind me managed to get my attention.
“Can you believe those two? They are making the concert all about them!” were the words that came out of her mouth.
I shrugged and said I didn’t really mind. They looked like they were having fun and I could still hear the music.
I could see the mix of confusion and surprise as it spread across her face. Her next words explained what I was seeing in her expression, “you’re a lot nicer person than me.”
I felt for the woman. I wanted to help her see that she was the one making the concert about them. They were just having fun and enjoying the moment. I also wanted her to realize that she could easily change her situation by moving over or standing herself. Instead, I decided to stay in my own moment and enjoy the show.
Towards the end of the concert, the artist began to pick up the beat and created a much livelier atmosphere.With that shift, the tension in the seats around us turned sideways. Individuals who had just been complaining because they couldn’t see, wanted to get up but they didn’t want to be like “those people.”
As many of you know, I can’t resist the urge to dance. I stood from my own chair and invited a few people around us to join me, including the sweet mom that was with the woman behind me. I reached out to her and before I knew it our little pod of concert goers were all up and dancing.
The look on everyone’s faces warmed my heart. We had turned around and uplifted what could’ve easily ended on a grumpy note.
The next time you are feeling like someone is making it all about them, I invite you to take a look at who is really making it all about them. You have control over your thoughts and actions. If you are feeling triggered by someone, it is time to look within and see what part of yourself is not having its needs met. From there, you can do what is needed. You can change what you have control over.
Have fun and dance your heart out!